After being involved in a bus accident in 2017 doctors told me “you should be a quadriplegic right now…” I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt and was sent flying through the bus at 80km/h. That same weekend my dad had the first of what would be 3 strokes. How’s that for synchronicity! As you can imagine I was not in a good place in my life. I became depressed, emotionally and physically exhausted trying to deal with my accident and my dad’s strokes.
Yet this wasn’t the first time I had fallen into a dark place. Back in high school, like many people, I was bullied a lot and it really affected me emotionally and mentally. I’d come home from school crying literally just wishing I could die, so I didn’t have to go back to school. I had severe health problems because I was so stressed all the time.
At the time I didn’t know how to deal with or process my emotions and it led me down a path of taking a lot of party drugs when I was late teens. I would often have 3-day benders parting from Friday night until Monday morning. One Monday morning I remember being outside a party house that overlooked the beach in my hometown of Newcastle, it was around 6am and I noticed all the morning runners getting ready for their week ahead. It was the first time my life I felt like a complete loser and wondered how the hell I got here!?
You may be wondering why I was taking drugs in the first place? To me now it’s obvious, but back then, I never truly loved myself. Unknown to me at the time, I felt unworthy and unloved, so I found myself constantly seeking love and acceptance through external gratification which I know now, never works. Yet at the time all I was seeking was social acceptance and felt the need to try to fit in. It took some time to work through it all, but now I know it was all part of my life’s purpose so I could guide others on their personal healing journey too.
For a few years before the bus accident, I had this inner knowing about my life purpose, but was choosing to ignore it. Literally, as soon as the accident happened, I knew instantaneously why it did. I remember laying on the floor of the bus thinking ‘’oh God can I feel’’. It was then and there that I made a promise to our creator that I would not stop pursuing my mission for the rest of my life! For so long I had been choosing to play small. Deep in my heart, I knew the accident happened to me as a wakeup call because I was failing to pay attention and take action on my inner guidance to follow my mission. Can you relate? It made me realise that this was no longer just about me and my life, but about helping others along their journey. Every day I chose to put off taking action meant one less life transformed.
Over the years, I’ve come to realise the only thing ever holding us back is our beliefs and the stories we keep telling ourselves. It wasn’t until I started exploring personal development and healing modalities that I realised how many limiting beliefs and negative emotions I had stored in my brain and body from past experiences. This is because they are stored in the unconscious mind, so we are not consciously aware of them. Many of my beliefs were around not feeling worthy, not feeling good enough and feeling unloved. I also had a lot around money and success.
Clearing my mind & removing my limiting beliefs has been key to my current success. I became super conscious of my daily habits, rituals & language patterns. Also, my morning routine has become so important as it allows me to fill my cup before the day starts, so I can handle anything that comes my way.
When we learn how to fill ourselves up with love, we stop needing the approval of others. There is no longer a need to seek our love externally and through other people. When we truly love ‘The Self’ we can spread and share that love to others. The love I genuinely have for myself now has made me realise how important my mission is in this world. Everything we do has a ripple effect on others, so I’m proud to be someone making a positive impact! If there’s anything I’ve learned along my journey so far, it’s that love… really is the cure all.
Perhaps you can relate to my journey or parts of it. Please know that if I can do it, then you can do it too! All it takes is one new decision. A decision that can alter the course of your life in the most magical way, forever. A decision that your future self will thank you for!